Now that I’m leaving for North Carolina in a day, I’m really wishing that I had followed through with every single one of my diets because I feel so fat. I wanted to wear a bikini this week and feel beautiful and let him like me. But I didn’t and so now I’ll be extremely self-conscious the entire time. I hate myself. I hate shorts. I hate summer. I hate shopping. I hate my fat. I hate my thighs. I just can’t. I hope he likes me more than I like myself.

#personal  #rant  #journey  #diet  #weight  #fat  #fat ass  #dammit  #help  #ana  

Goodness gracious I feel so bloated and fat…I really need to stop eating so damn much. I really need someone to help me…

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

The original post only has US helplines. I've added UK helplines underneath. It would be great if people could add numbers from everywhere in the world.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7
suicide hotlines;
Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
Australia: 13-11-14
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 391-1270
Brazil: 21-233-9191
China: 852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
Croatia: 01-4833-888
Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark: 70-201-201
Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715

I’m so done. So fucking done. I’m sick and tired of airhead teachers who can’t help me and who don’t seem to think I can make it. I’m sick of drama at work, this is not a high school this is a business. Damn. Stop bitching at each other about who should have got the position. M got it. That’s it. K is leaving. G hates M. M hates K1. K1 is an idiot. B doesn’t like anyone except me and T basically. J is lazy and slow but funny to the other employees. Not to sound narcissistic but pretty much everyone loves me. My boss wants me to find him two employees before I leave for school in two months but the only people I know are A) leaving B) already have jobs and don’t want another one (in customer service) C) are horrible workers. Our staff is shrinking, slowly but surely. It got down to 7 at one point and now it’s still only at like 10 or 11. My boss apparently doesn’t know how to schedule right because he only scheduled 5 of us to work ALL day yesterday. Between the hours of 7 and 9:30 he only had 5 people scheduled, not there at the same time. What the hell was he thinking? So he ended up calling J in during the day, who’s a lazy ass and hates days. I just can’t. There is so much stress and drama and gossip that resides in that place, behind all of the Disney songs and dancing and laughing at our strange quirks, there is so much damn shit. If I didn’t need the money so bad I don’t know if I would be there but I do. I need 9k by August. So I’m stressing over that and finishing my math on time and trying to stay out of the all of the crap that’s piling up at work but it’s hard when everyone vents to you about how they don’t like someone else. I’m just so done. I can’t wait to get out of this shit hole.

#journey  #rant