Do you even notice?
Do you even know how hard it is? How hard it is to be in a sorority, be loved by all of your sisters, but then go out and have all of the guys hanging all over them and not even paying an ounce of attention to you unless you get totally wasted? Do you know how shitty it feels when the only guy who gives you the time of day was completely wasted and turns up having a girlfriend in one of the other sororities? You try cleavage, you try legs, you try skinny jeans, you try cute tops, you try new makeup, you try doing your hair a new way, you try everything you can think of and you’re still not enough. After a week of just wanting a guy friend, not even a relationship, just someone to cuddle with and watch movies you’re done. Because your friends have their pick of guys. One has a boyfriend back home though so she denies everyone. The other though, good gracious. She has a boy at home who she calls at least 4 times a day for a minimum of 20 minutes, she has a boy in one of the two frats on campus who she spends nearly every night there (like the whole damn night), and every single place that we have gone to she has gotten hit on. You know what I’m doing this whole time? Drinking my sorrows away one shot at a time, sitting in the middle of several conversations. If I can’t be the stunning one, if I can’t be the interesting one then I must be the skinny one. I have to be. I have no other choice now. It’s not like I want a relationship, I just want a cuddle/makeout/movie buddy…I thought that was what guys liked? Apparently not with me. Did I make the right choice in coming here?